Current mood:	creative
Entry tags:	grey's fic

Fic: A Lot of Things to Put Right
So, I really couldn't resist. The idea popped into my head, and I had to write.

Title: A Lot of Things to Put Right
Author: K
Pairing: Meredith/Derek
Word Count: 1031
Rating: PG-13
Summary: She wonders when everything in her life became McSomething.
Spoilers: Up through 2x24.

When Meredith thought to hell with knitting and chose door number one, she didn't think it'd lead to Derek finding her in another man's shirt. It was an admittedly suspicious situation, sure, but she isn't that kind of woman! Except she sort of is, when she really thinks about it as she sits on Finn's couch and waits for him to finish up downstairs. She remembers the string of one-night stands and George and Derek positively glaring at her just now, and the next thing she knows, she's back to feeling like the dirty ex-mistress who can't stop rambling.

McVet and McDreamy in one room. She wonders if Derek will end up punching Finn somewhere along the line, a repeat of the whole McDreamy versus McSteamy debacle. A small part of her would love that, even though she's totally knitting a sweater and is over her Friend-with-a-capital-F Derek. She had a dog, after all. People who are hung up on attendings do not have dogs. Then again, she doesn't have Doc anymore, so she wonders if that means she's technically allowed to not be over Derek. Even though she's over him. And knitting. A sweater. Meredith thanks God she's not saying any of this aloud, because Finn's just come back upstairs and is smiling warmly at her. He's McVet and she's McRambles and she wonders when everything in her life became McSomething.

***

Meredith's back at the hospital the next day, and she spends most of her morning trailing after Bailey and avoiding Derek.

"For the love of God, Grey, do I seem like someone who enjoys being ignored?"

"Of course not," Meredith answers, but she's flying on auto-pilot because Derek's standing at the nurse's station less than ten feet away and he's definitely staring at her. She can't tell if it's an angry stare or a longing stare - please let it be a longing stare, she thinks, before she mentally slaps herself - or just a stare because sometimes a stare can just be a stare and now's she's rambling again.

"Grey!" Bailey snaps, and that's all it takes for Meredith to be on top of her game. She follows Bailey around the corner until Derek is both out-of-sight and out-of-mind.

***

The locker room is empty as Meredith sits on a bench and knits like there's no tomorrow. She holds her would-be sweater up in order to examine it closely and wonders how she'd even manage to put it on when there don't appear to be any arm or neck openings. She stands, sighs, and tosses the pseudo-sweater and materials into her locker.

***

She's the first to sit down to their table at lunch, but it doesn't take long before Cristina and Izzie flop down on either side of her.

"How're things with McVet?" Cristina asks, smirking slightly. Izzie looks up from her salad and Meredith swears everyone's ears perk up whenever someone so much as whispers, "Mc."

"I'm still knitting," Meredith answers and nods firmly. "Seriously," she adds at Cristina and Izzie's looks of disbelief.

"Fine," Cristina says before she turns to Izzie. "Twenty bucks says her and McVet are playing doctor by the next date."

"Did you screw him?" Alex asks as he slides into the chair next to Izzie, who rolls her eyes and scoots her chair closer to Meredith in an extremely mature and effective manner. Meredith rolls her eyes, too.

"She's knitting," Cristina replies, "but not for long."

"Do you really think I'm incapable of having a relationship with a man that doesn't involve sex?" When Cristina blankly stares at her and Alex and Izzie return to passive-aggressively ignoring each other, Meredith says, "Hello?"

"I thought it was a rhetorical question," Cristina shrugs. Alex and Izzie nod in agreement, and Meredith abruptly stands, hearing only Cristina's "Make it two dates" as she storms away.

***

Meredith is punching the elevator's down button with a vindictive furor when the doors suddenly open and she steps in before she realizes who's standing off to the left. The doors close and she sees his reflection in the shining steel. He holds her gaze for three floors without speaking and Meredith desperately wants to say something but she seems to have forgotten every word she's ever learned. Her stomach back-flips when Derek turns to her and opens his mouth, but he seems to think better of it and faces forward again as the doors shutter open and he rushes out into the fray. Meredith hardly notices the other doctors who crowd into the elevator.

She thinks they might have just experienced a moment, like a moment moment. Her and Derek haven't had a real moment since the night she nearly died and he recounted their last kiss - in detail - and she may or may not have thought he was going to kiss her. Regardless of the lack of kissing, it was a moment, and she's pretty sure what just occurred counts as one, too.

***

She's sitting in a wheelchair in the basement of the hospital and she's pretty sure she's the poster-child of depression. Meredith knows she shouldn't be sad. There's an extremely cute vet who's into her even though she's clearly insane, and she is totally, completely over any married, staring attending the hospital can throw at her. Except she's not. When she finally admits it to herself, she feels so relieved that she's quite sure she'd have fallen had she not already been sitting.

She still loves Derek and she sucks at knitting. Meredith looks around surreptitiously.

"I still love Derek and I suck at knitting," she says aloud like she's at some sort of therapeutic AA meeting. Hi, my name is Meredith, and I'm still in love with my married ex-boyfriend. Meredith doesn't want to be a home wrecker; she even kind-of, sort-of, maybe likes Addison. It's just that - well - she doesn't know. Life's not fair. He's her McDreamy.

Her pager goes off suddenly and she leaps to her feet, Pavlovian response undeniably present. She's running through corridors and up stairwells, rushing to save a life, and she just hopes she has the guts to save her own.


Like it? Hate it? Feedback would be brilliant!